How to host an excellent party for new international students

1. Meet up with someother new international students and have a few beers.
2. Chat about how boring the introduction days are going to be.
3. Jokingly discuss how good a social lubricant alcohol is.
4. Drunken brainwave - "Let's hold a party!"
5. Volunteer to hold it at your place without even considering the implications.
6. On the day of the induction (and party) write down the details of the party (not forgetting the all important "Bring beer" line) lots of times and go around inviting too many people.
7. Discover that everyone you're inviting already knows about the party and realise that it is going to be very big and your apartment is small.
8. At lunchbreak persuade a few burly male friends to help you move anything breakable out of the living areas and push all furniture back as far as possible.
9. Look around at your handiwork and optomistically think that the apartment can fit far more people than previously expected.
10. In the afternoon session of the tedious introduction sit through a talk from the police about how they deal with parties.
11. Realise that you are holding an illegal party in your house and consider whether it is possible to call things off.
12. Cancelling is impossible so party must continue despite the pessimistic murmurings of flatmate.
13. Inform your flatmate that you will take full responsibility for everything (gulp!) as it was your (bad) idea. Find someone over 21 who is willing to pretend they live there should any policeman ask. Promise to drink very little.
14. Clean house, tidy away any breakable item, sort out the music (a mixture of international music ranging from Korean hip-hop to Mexican dance) and buy some alcohol to start the party off. Enlist a small group of helpers who are bound to get too drunk to take any responsibility or do anything you ask.
15. Put signs up around the place informing people that should the police ask Salvador lives there (if there are lots of people who don't know the host the police view the apartment as a public place, where it is illegal to have parties - if most people know the host then it is a private party as far as the police are concerned).
16. Pray that the cops don't come.
17. Greet your guests that come slowly at first but before long fill your apartment.
18. Suddenly discover that the party has become so full that it is continuing outside. Which is most definately illegal and highlights that there is a party going on (that happens to have a lot of under 21s at it).
19. Try to get people inside.
20. Fail.
21. See the police drive past once.
22. Twice.
23. Three times.
24. Crap. They know that there is a party going on. Try harder to get everyone in and inform them of the police's new found knowledge.
25. Ask your friend to tell people and then return outside to push people in.
26. Hear a yell from inside followed by a strange silence.
27. Look inside to find your friend standing on a chair telling the masses about the police situation.
28. The party goes on regardless, the music (which couldn't be heard over the talking anyway) gets turned off.
29. Get slightly stressed. A criminal record would not be the best way to start a new school year.
30. Go outside again to encourage people to go in. Fail but end up talking to a nice scottish bloke who reassures you that there are bigger parties happening elsewhere.
31. Feel more relaxed, go in for a drink and come across someone opening a $50 bottle of Moet and Chandon. Introduce yourself to Champagne guy (English - who else could be so sophisticated?) and get a glass of pure heaven. Feel even happier.
32. Start to enjoy the party more.
33. A few people leave and there is suddenly space to breathe and it becomes slightly cooler (60 people in a fairly small room with a window that can't be opened for fear of noise levels and no air conditioning does not make for a comfortable temperature).
34. Talk to some very drunk people.
35. The party quickly gets smaller and before you know it the only people who are left are about 7 brits and an Irish guy left. Feel proud at the staying power of your nation.
36. Discover that The Shins are playing in Santa Barbara next week and invite yourself along with them.
37. Help yourself to a few well deserved beers.
38. When everyone has left realise you are now quite drunk but try and help your friends to tidy up the empties anyway.
39. Fall into a dunken sleep the moment your head its the bed.
40. Inspect the damage the next day and discover beer split on the floor, v.dirty floors, bottles evrywhere and your flatmate vacumming.
41. Groan and begin the clean up safe in the knowledge that everyone had a great time and you're now the most popular girl of the international students!